11/24/2004|||110129262096415425||||||BUSH-DODGERS ON THE BORDER
Johnny Mercer biographer, Gene Lees alerts me to a new refugee crisis. Traumatic scenes, according to Columbus Dispatch columnist Joe Blundo (subscriber only ):
"The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
"Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. 'I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,' said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. 'He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?'
"In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. 'Not real effective,' he said. 'The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk.'
"Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. 'A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.'
"...In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. 'If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,' an official said."
More on Gene's excellent book later, by the way.
UPDATE: Here's my Times feature. If you're interested in learning more about Mercer, Terry Teachout's essay in Commentary is unmissable.
|||Clive|||http://clivedavis.blogspot.com/2004/11/bush-dodgers-on-border-johnny-mercer.html|||11/24/2004 10:22:00 am|||||||||